dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
