seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
