So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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