I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
