Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How does it feel to date your dad?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
