Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
