Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
