That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
