is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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