Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
