It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
