I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
