I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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