Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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