Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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