I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize