White coat. Heels.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize