Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
