ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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