i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My ass is underappreciated
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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