It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Randomize
