how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
