I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
