it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My liver just broke up with me...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize