So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize