hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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