so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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