i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
