I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
