The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
