I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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