are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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