if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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