omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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