yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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