You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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