TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
