what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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