Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
