Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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