You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
