dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
