is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
