I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
