Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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