By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
