it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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