But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
