so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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