I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize