if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
