Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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