I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
