All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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