So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
