It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
