i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I believe in your delicious
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
