I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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