part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
