it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize