guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
