i was born a porn star she said
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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