Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
