I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize