btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
