do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize