it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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