Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
