your parents love me but you hate me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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