were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
