i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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