been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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